For baby Sweet life has been filled with soooo much love and joy! He has a ton of people in his life that adore him. I am sure you can imagine the joy he has brought into so many different lives. He is seriously one of the happiest babies I have ever seen, always a smile on his face. His laugh is so stinkin' cute too. He has had a bit of a reflux problem and spit up everything. They are just barely starting to get it under control so he is finally gaining some weight. He is such a long skinny little thing. The only thing he was able to keep down very much of was the "banana juice", as my son calls breast milk, that I pumped for the first few weeks. B and N are the cutest parents you ever saw and are so in love with their son. B was able to quit her job and gets to be a stay at home mommy and is absolutely loving it. It is so fun to see her with him and how she sits and talks to him.
As for me life has just moved on. I honestly feel like it was all a dream. It is so surreal to think it even happened. I sometimes find myself contemplating being B's surro but realize I already did it! It still seems crazy to me. I can't believe how much more quickly one can heal from birth when they don't have a newborn to take care of! It was only a few days before I was up and running around. I had so much love and compassion shown to me that first month after baby Sweet was born, it was amazing. Meals brought in, cards sent in the mail, visits, gifts, hugs. This was all from people who do not even know B or N. Just people in my neighborhood and in my life who love me. I still to this day see people and they genuinely want to know how I am and let me know how amazing they think what I did was. It is so humbling. I am so appreciative for all the outpouring love and support I got.
It was so fun for the first few weeks of baby Sweet's life I saw him almost every day. We had family parties that involved Jean's family so of course he was there and B would stop in for a visit. My kids love to hold him and have no confusion that he is B's baby. They are totally fine with it and think its completely normal. What a relief! I probably see baby Sweet once or twice a month for get togethers or we just hang out. I even got to babysit him for a whole day and that was a blast. I also realized how grateful I was to not have a newborn at this time in my life. hahaha
So how am I feeling about it all? How did I do emotionally? How am I doing? These are all questions I am asked often. It's funny because when I answer I almost don't think people believe me. It's almost like they want me to say it was so hard, that I miss him, that I am falling apart. But honestly and truly I am GREAT! Not once have I felt sad or upset over any of it. I have not once had a longing feeling or that I am missing something. It has all been even better then I thought or imagined. I am truly down right so happy for B and know baby Sweet is with his mommy and daddy where he belongs.
I thought I may have a longing for one of my own soon after he was born or miss being pregnant and feeling those little kicks. Nothing. I am so happy and content with my little family and am so happy to have them. Sometimes people would come ask "how are you" with this sad/compassionate look in their eyes and I had no clue what they were talking about. It always catches me off guard and I have to remember, oh they are asking about baby Sweet! I honestly forget I ever carried him. Sometimes I feel guilty saying I forget or I don't have these "maternal feelings" for him that people think I should. Then I realize, I am so BLESSED. I know that this has been and is a tremendous blessing for me to feel this way. My sister keeps asking me what I am doing to loose weight and I have to remind her that I had a baby not too long ago. Even my family forgets.
So here we are 6 months later and I have absolutely no regrets. Everything was perfect and turned out how it should. I honestly believe that this was meant to be and I couldn't be happier that I was able to help my friend and an amazing women become a mom. I can think of no greater gift and am blessed that she chose me to help make her dreams come true. It was life changing. Seeing B and N the first time baby Sweet cried when he was born is a moment I will always cherish and never forget. Thank you to everyone for all the love and support IRL, through FB and through here.
If anyone has questions please feel free to ask!
