Starting again

 I am excited to say we are finally back to starting again! My period finally came and I was put on birth control for a few weeks. I took my last pill Friday night, period came again Sunday and I will be starting the correct meds tomorrow!  I will also be going in for a lining ultrasound check and blood work. I am looking forward to moving on in this journey!


It has also come time that I feel appropriate to tell my family (outside my immediate family) that I am considering being a surrogate. I don't want them to find out AFTER I am pregnant that this is an option. It feels great to talk about it with them and share my experiences. When I tell them it reminds me why I am doing this and how it does feel right. I get anxious still sometimes when I think about it and the possibilities of complications but I try and grab onto that faith I have that no matter what happens I know I did what the lord has planned for me and the Sweets.

No one knows that we are starting the process right now because B wants to keep it a secret. I don't blame her. After trying 3 times and it failing she just doesn't want to have to deal with that hurt and anguish again if it fails. She doesn't want to have a million phone calls, texts, emails, fb asking if it worked and then having to tell everyone it didn't. I am sure its painful enough for her to have to deal with it not working let alone telling and retelling everyone for weeks.

B also made a great point, this way she gets to SURPRISE everyone that she is having a baby if it works, just like everyone else who doesn't have to go through this process. I hate keeping secrets but I get where she is coming from and it makes sense. Lets just hope it all goes well!

 (June 5th)

hopefully good news

I still haven't gotten my period so B called the clinic and we are getting my levels checked tomorrow to see where my cycle is at and where we can go from there. Hopefully we can move forward again soon.

(May 21st)

update

I started spotting but then it stopped. We called the clinic and they want us to wait until I have a full period. More waiting.

May 14th

not so good news

So I had my second lining ultrasound check today. We are using a local clinic for these ultrasounds and then they send the information over to the clinic we are using. I started to get a bit worried about things during the ultrasound when the doctor said my lining was looking a bit thin. I left with a bit of doubt but still hopeful. We are supposed to leave in a week for the transfer.

My doubt turned into complete disappointment, being heartbroken, embarrassment, regret.

I got a phone call from my nurse at our clinic to discuss the meds I had been taking. My lining was too thin, my hormone levels weren't where they should be. She asked me exactly what I had been doing and taking. Apparently I misunderstood what med I should of been injecting. All of my meds were sent at once. So I have meds that I should be taking now AND the ones that I will use later. When we had talked we went over ALL the meds. I knew the first few weeks I would be taking a med that started with a "de" and another one.

When I got my meds I looked at my med calendar and grabbed the pills out that matched up, they started with a "de". The calendar also said I would have IM injections of an EV2. For some reason I had it in my head that I would be taking the progesterone shots the whole time so I grabbed those out and assumed that was the EV2. My nurse had told me the meds may have a different name then what my calendar calls them. So when the day came to start the meds that is what I did.

I should have looked more carefully, I should have checked the names of the meds and made sure. I should have called my nurse with ANY questions.

But, I didn't.

So I took the wrong IM injections and  now we have to stop. Yes, stop. I am devastated. I feel so awful that I made this mistake and B and N have to be let down again, this time because of me. We have to wait until my period starts again. At that point if it works out with the doctors schedule I can start the correct meds and reschedule a transfer day. If it doesn't work with the doctor I have to go on birth control again until our schedules line up.

I feel so bad. On top of delaying the transfer, B has to cancel the hotel reservations, car reservations and reschedule work and so does Jean (she was going to come with us). Plus not sure if you remember but my cycles are anywhere from 30 days to 60 days in between. So who knows when I will start. Plus my little brother is getting married in a month so we will have to work the transfer around that too.

I know that this just means the transfer is being delayed and we will try in a month or two but this is MY mistake and it sucks.

(May 8th)