It has also come time that I feel appropriate to tell my family (outside my immediate family) that I am considering being a surrogate. I don't want them to find out AFTER I am pregnant that this is an option. It feels great to talk about it with them and share my experiences. When I tell them it reminds me why I am doing this and how it does feel right. I get anxious still sometimes when I think about it and the possibilities of complications but I try and grab onto that faith I have that no matter what happens I know I did what the lord has planned for me and the Sweets.
No one knows that we are starting the process right now because B wants to keep it a secret. I don't blame her. After trying 3 times and it failing she just doesn't want to have to deal with that hurt and anguish again if it fails. She doesn't want to have a million phone calls, texts, emails, fb asking if it worked and then having to tell everyone it didn't. I am sure its painful enough for her to have to deal with it not working let alone telling and retelling everyone for weeks.
B also made a great point, this way she gets to SURPRISE everyone that she is having a baby if it works, just like everyone else who doesn't have to go through this process. I hate keeping secrets but I get where she is coming from and it makes sense. Lets just hope it all goes well!
(June 5th)
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