I finally was able to tell her!

Well its done. She now knows. My heart was racing as we met and stood in line chit chatting while we got our food. I seriously couldn't think straight. After we sat down and had talked a little more I began to tell her that I had something to tell her. That I had this feeling about something that is so strong. She stopped me and asked if it was bad news because she didn't know if you she could handle any more bad news in her life right now. I feel so bad for her that things are just not working out.

I promised her it wasn't bad and then I told her that if her and N wanted me to, I would love to be their surrogate! I am pretty sure it was one of the biggest shocks of her life. She kind of was like really, are you serious? I could tell she didn't know what to say or how to react. I caught her so off guard. She started asking me questions and one of the first being if Hubbs is ok with it. It made me feel so good knowing she was concerned about how it would effect my family too. I think it was all surreal to her and she didn't know what to really do or say. I have had a month planning, preparing and getting excited for this moment. For her it was a shock, unexpected and totally sprung on her.

B mentioned that she has just been so hurt through this process in the past that her and N had decided to take a few months off of thinking about it and then here I am. She brought up the fact that we are so alike. I told her most of my experiences with coming to this decision. We talked about the shots I would have to take. The details of what we would have to do for the procedure. The complications with our state not being a surro friendly state, Oh the complications. Switching surros at the clinic. Who would be in the room when the baby was born if this all worked out. We talked about how great it would be for her to go to each appointment. How she would love it because she knows me and has no concerns about what I would do with my body while pg, knows I would take all the meds I should and knows that my mind and heart are in the right place to be able to do this for her.

We also talked about how she doesn't know how she could tell her current surro that she wont be using her anymore. That it will be more work to figure out how to switch everything over to me, get my tests done and figure out how to work around/with our state laws.

In the end I let her know that I loved her and I want her to be a mommy. Whatever she chooses is good, but now she at least has another option. She has an option not just one surro willing. She of course hugged me and thanked me numerous times. We both left really excited.

I know she is still very shocked and needs to process it all. B and N need to talk about it. Now its their decision and I just have to wait and have faith that it will all work out the way it should. I feel like a weight has been lifted now that she knows! I am more excited than ever to start the process.

But now all I can do is wait...

Me waiting to tell B