complications

With our state not being 100% surrogacy friendly it causes complications. First off we will be using a clinic that is in a neighboring state that is about 5 hours away. Clinic options in our state are rare. Plus the clinic we are using is a very well known clinic and many travel from other states to use them. I feel confident in the doctors and the clinic we are using but that does mean travel. So we will have to travel there for the transfer and again at 6 weeks "when" we get a positive pregnancy test.

Second we have to figure out what to do legally "when" the baby is born. With the Sweets previous surro they had planned on her going to stay with family the last month of pregnancy in the state where our clinic is and having the baby there. The state where our clinic is will let you have a legal contract drawn up before the babe is born stating it is a surrogate pregnancy and the baby is legally the Sweets. B and N's names would be on the birth certificate. The state their previous surro is from is even MORE un surro friendly then ours. This worked out for them because she had family to go stay with in the clinics state. The Sweets were going to have to travel either way, either to the surro's state or the clinics state.

For our situation one of the appealing things about me being able to be their surro is we are in the same state. So the hopeful plan is we wont have to travel after the 6 week mark and we wont have to worry about traveling for the birth, especially since the actual birth date is unpredictable. The problem is we have to figure out what to do legally "when" the babe is born. In our state the babe will legally be mine and hubbs until a paternity test is done then it would be mine and N's. So B would have to go through the process of adopting the babe as a step parent and I would have to go before a judge and relinquish all rights stating that I don't want my own baby even though it really isn't mine biologically. With the adoption comes home studies and parenting classes B would have to take.

Our other option is for B and I to go to our clinics state a month before the babe is due and live there until its birth. I see so many problems with this. To name a few: what if I have the baby earlier then when we go? I can't be away from my kids and husband that long, we could bring the kids but that would be hard to be away from home that long, if we are there with the kids who will watch them when I go into labor? It would be super expensive to go live there for a month, etc. etc.

It seems so unfair that they have to go through all this to just have their baby. Anyone else, whether or not they would pass a home study/inspection, can go out and get pregnant and have a baby. The Sweets, and others like them, already have to go through so much to be parents and then add all of that? I don't agree.

As of right now we are talking with, and having to pay them just to talk, lawyers to try and figure out a more effective way for us to have the baby here in our state. I am hoping and praying that we can somehow figure it out and make it work. There would be so much less stress!

I will keep you posted on what we find out!